Where Amazing Happens redux

In Case You Missed It - "that big Semen kid"

In the first edition of In Case You Missed It.....

Charles Barkley calls Semih Erden "...that big Semen kid..." at :18
Hilarity ensues - EJ can't hold it together, Charles also calls Rondo "LeBrondo"
Someone get CB34 another drink

Sad Day - Yao Ming breaks foot again

"I haven't died, right now I'm drinking a beer and eating fried chicken. 

What were you expecting, a funeral?" Yao Ming - Dec 14, 2010 

NBA Action - it's Fantastic!

Irreconcilable Differences

You can't make this stuff up: Tony Parker aka the French rapper TP was boinking Erin Barry, wife of 1996 NBA Slam Dunk Champion Brent Barry...so Brent and Eva filed for divorce from their partners citing irreconcilable differences. Ms Longoria has asked that TP keep away from her money 'cause she's richer than him. Plus his rap name is short for toilet paper - how about MC Shit-Tickets Tony?

Bonus pic of TP (outright fail) :

Month 1 - State of the League Address

The ‘10-‘11 NBA season is just over 1 month old - here are my ruminations

Eat my bullet-points part deux (pause):

• Landry Fields is vying for Rookie of the Year (best rookie in November) - Who woulda thunk it?
• The Kanix are decent - I'm holding my breath waiting for the spoiler(s) - Let's Go Knicks!
• Sith Lord Stern bought the New Orleans Hornets - if I was Dell Demps I would make all types of luxury tax trades and make the NBA pick up the tab...seriously how does this work?
• Antoine Walker joins the Idaho Stampede - drops 13 points and 1 technical foul in first game back (welcome back to nowhere bro)
• Blake Griffin is still Rookie of the Year (see Mozgov facerape below)
• The Heat are small - but still better than every other East team not named Celtics
• There's the Lakers and there's the rest of the West - fast forward to Finals
• The Pacers are going to make the playoffs?! (prolly not tho)
• The lockout is looming large - I want to be a scab player - where do I sign up?

NBA Players of the Month: November

Western Conference Player of the Month - November

 Deron Williams - I could make fun of his hair but it wouldn't be as funny as this: Deron's Hairlines

Eastern Conference Player of Month - November

Dwight Howard - Somehow Superman is still underrated and still quite strange: "Dwight Howard wants to imbue the NBA logo with the Christian cross in an attempt to spread Christianity."

Here's the mother of his illegitimate child booty dancing: Baby Mama Madness

Blake Griffin makes violent love to Timofey Mozgov's facial

R.O.Y!

The Sith Lord grants an interview

My goodness Mr Stern has his moments - Thanks to Colbert for prodding and cajoling the emperor...

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
David Stern
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes 2010 Election March to Keep Fear Alive

The Answer: Starting PG for Beşiktaş Cola Turka!?

I am not mad at all - Allen "The Answer" Iverson has arrived in Istanbul to resume his professional basketball career. Larry Brown expressed regret that no NBA team would hire Iverson and players around the league were baffled that he couldn't get a contract. I for one am pleased that he has taken his talents overseas - it should be a good experience for him and I guarantee the highlights are going to be awesome. As much as I want to see him back in the L - let's see what he does in Turkey. Iverson has promised the Beşiktaş Cola Turka fans "something they haven't seen before." No sh*t Sherlock - we all know it could get ugly but no matter what it's going to be spectacular.

Here's awesome video of Turkish fans welcoming Iverson at the airport:



Bonus: Jewelz time!
Allen Iverson as Jewelz with his debut single 40 Bars circa 2000 A.D.

40 Bars - Jewelz (Allen Iverson) by White Kong

Week 1 - State of the League Address

Western Conference Player of the Week

Pau “turkeyneckbeardface” Gasol

Eastern Conference Player of the Week

Rajon Rondo (24 assists?)

The ‘10-‘11 NBA season is one week old and we have plenty to talk about. 

Here are some of my observations and predictions. 

Eat my bullet-points (pause):

• The Celtics are angry and ready for their Finals rematch vs The Lakers
•  KG is so spit-froth angry he called Charlie Villanueva a cancer patient (hilariously redacted)
• The Lakers will win the '10-'11 Finals rematch unless Shaq becomes Kazaam
• Landry Fields is actually a decent NBA player
• Blake Griffin is Rookie of the Year
• John Wall - future All Star (24 pts, 13 dimes, & 9 steals?)
• Yao Ming’s 24 minute rule is stupid and self-defeating
• The Heat will win 65 games
• T-Mac has knees made of charcoal dust - finito

Eastern Conference Playoff Predictions

1. Miami Heat

2. Orlando Magic

3. Boston Celtics

4. Atlanta Hawks

5. Chicago Bulls

6. Milwaukee Bucks

7. Washington Wizards

8. New York Knicks

Dark Horse: Cleveland Cavaliers

Western Conference Playoff Predictions

1. L.A. Lakers

2. Oklahoma City Thunder

3. Portland Trailblazers

4. Dallas Mavericks

5. San Antonio Spurs

6. Houston Rockets

7. Utah Jazz

8. New Orleans Hornets

Dark Horse: Phoenix Suns

Kazaam can see the future!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Halloween NBA!

Happy Halloween - here are some of your favorite superstars' costumes (they did not disappoint):

 Dywayne Wade - Justin Timberlake (awesome whiteface bro!)

Y'all know Shaqueeta right?

Rondo as Tiger Woods in a sling, J.O. as Mr T, Big Baby in PJ's, 

Delonte West in a Vendetta Mask, The Truth as The Frog and 

KG as DJ Lance from Yo Gabba Gabba (don't ask - Idunno)

(Rondo killed it)

&

Eddy Curry: Au Naturel

Notable NBA* Player Tweets from the last 24 hours–10/28/10 (*except for Emperor Marbury)

Danny Granger: 

Tony Parker kicked me in the "man area" tonight... I seriously might not be able to have kids now :(

Stephon Marbury: 
Basketball is just a game. The game of life is where you get the real fame. - STEPHON X MARBURY

 

JR Smith: 

Can't wait till next game!

George Hill: 

#haveyouever zipped ur thang up in your zipper #painful....

#haveyouever wiped your butt n your finger went through the toilet paper.... Stinky finger lol

 #haveyouever caught ur own fart....

Wilson Chandler: 

N ball up sum socks 4 de hoop rock RT lol @CC_LF365: #thingweusedtodoaskids take 2 hangers n make a FUL CT n de house n hoop like u outside.

                                                             

                                               #I Love This Game!

No Smile Policy - 9 Milli Gillie

"The only place I want to smile is on the court. That's where my job is, that's where my love is. That's the only time I need to smile now."

"Fans just want to see good basketball. It don't matter what you do. Your game speaks for itself. That's all I think about right now."

"I screwed up again, so I just want to say sorry. I wasn't really thinking that this was going to be another media outburst. It's like everything I do now, someone, tit for tat, tries to blow it out of proportion.”

- Gilbert Jay Arenas Jr.

“Out of all the numbers Arenas could have picked he chooses the number 9: a well- known name for a gun. Really? Who here honestly believes Arenas picked the number 9 harmlessly not even realizing that a nine is also a gun. F*ck outta here with that sh*t.”      - P*A*R*K*E*R (forum post on thacorner.net)

Today begins the 2010-2011 NBA regular season – to commemorate such a historic occasion we have decided to start up “Right As Rain” - a nerve center dedicated to documenting the assorted going-ons around the league. This season has the obvious hot-button issues such as the Heat, Celtics, Kobe’s 6^th ring, Carmelo & LaLa, Durantula, Blake Griffin and Amar’e Stoudemire’s inevitable transformation into a taller/more hobbled Antonio McDyess.

Instead of these issues I would like to start with last year’s favorite hooligian, who now has an incredible new nickname to go with his new number. Allow him to reintroduce himself – 9 Milli Gillie. I was sitting watching the Wizards run through a pre-season practice on NBA TV (because that’s what unemployed people do), when I noticed his new number and fell off my chair in disbelief - # 9? Gilbert has apparently been deep in his own hyperbaric chambered world. I appreciate the gall that it took to pick that number though. People say that Gilbert is unaware and/or unable to comprehend the consequences of his words and actions but I think he just doesn’t give a sh*t. That’s the type of guy you give 111 million dollars to right? I wonder what Gilbert really thinks about his punishment and subsequent ostracism. Does he feel victimized or humiliated? Frankly I don’t give a sh*t. Arenas is ready to be weird all season long – faking injuries, instituting no-smile policies and missing the first regular season game of the year with fluid in his ankle. Get ready folks – unless Ron Artest eats his therapist or Yao Ming defects to the U.S. - 9 Milli Gillie is the strangest thing going in the NBA – trust me – you will miss him when he’s gone.