No Smile Policy - 9 Milli Gillie

"The only place I want to smile is on the court. That's where my job is, that's where my love is. That's the only time I need to smile now."

"Fans just want to see good basketball. It don't matter what you do. Your game speaks for itself. That's all I think about right now."

"I screwed up again, so I just want to say sorry. I wasn't really thinking that this was going to be another media outburst. It's like everything I do now, someone, tit for tat, tries to blow it out of proportion.”

- Gilbert Jay Arenas Jr.

“Out of all the numbers Arenas could have picked he chooses the number 9: a well- known name for a gun. Really? Who here honestly believes Arenas picked the number 9 harmlessly not even realizing that a nine is also a gun. F*ck outta here with that sh*t.”      - P*A*R*K*E*R (forum post on thacorner.net)

Today begins the 2010-2011 NBA regular season – to commemorate such a historic occasion we have decided to start up “Right As Rain” - a nerve center dedicated to documenting the assorted going-ons around the league. This season has the obvious hot-button issues such as the Heat, Celtics, Kobe’s 6^th ring, Carmelo & LaLa, Durantula, Blake Griffin and Amar’e Stoudemire’s inevitable transformation into a taller/more hobbled Antonio McDyess.

Instead of these issues I would like to start with last year’s favorite hooligian, who now has an incredible new nickname to go with his new number. Allow him to reintroduce himself – 9 Milli Gillie. I was sitting watching the Wizards run through a pre-season practice on NBA TV (because that’s what unemployed people do), when I noticed his new number and fell off my chair in disbelief - # 9? Gilbert has apparently been deep in his own hyperbaric chambered world. I appreciate the gall that it took to pick that number though. People say that Gilbert is unaware and/or unable to comprehend the consequences of his words and actions but I think he just doesn’t give a sh*t. That’s the type of guy you give 111 million dollars to right? I wonder what Gilbert really thinks about his punishment and subsequent ostracism. Does he feel victimized or humiliated? Frankly I don’t give a sh*t. Arenas is ready to be weird all season long – faking injuries, instituting no-smile policies and missing the first regular season game of the year with fluid in his ankle. Get ready folks – unless Ron Artest eats his therapist or Yao Ming defects to the U.S. - 9 Milli Gillie is the strangest thing going in the NBA – trust me – you will miss him when he’s gone.